Have you ever wished parenting was easier? Children struggling with classes, forgetting, or refusing to follow household rules and expected behaviors, and open disrespect is frustrating for all parents. We may feel this will never improve but often with some changes in the way we communicate we can change the situation.
- Avoid yelling and screaming. Take a few seconds to regain control before you begin speaking with your kids. If all discipline needed was screaming, things would have changed long ago.
- Don't assume your child understands your directions. "Clean your room" often means different things to child and adult. Break the job down into what needs to be done.
- Kids don't see work that should be done.
- Make the punishment fit the crime. Take away online time for the rest of the day, not for a week. The reality is that few parents hold the kids accountable for more than one day, so make the punishment punish the child, not you.
- Be consistent! Enforcing consequences sporadically is confusing for everyone and undermines future communication with your kids.
- Don't forget your kids need praise, recognition, and to feel certain you love them.
Parenting is constant work and worry about the most valuable relationships in our lives. Making changes in the way we communicate can only help to improve this relationship. And remember, childhood doesn't last forever so enjoy the time while you can. If you honestly evaluate things, there probably are more positive moments than problems. Consider family counseling if you are concerned the problems are becoming unmanageable.
Kim offers a free 10-minute consultation on her Virtual Therapist Network site. Kim accepts most major insurance companies and even offers a sliding scale for those in lower-income households.
Kim works in Bradley, Illinois and as an On-line Therapist (Video over the Internet) to help her clients verbalize their issues, learn to view things differently, and feel comfortable with their decisions. Just as there is not one correct answer in life, there are multiple ways to find a solution in counseling. Kim will work with you to find the most appropriate solution for you. Please contact Kim at her Associated Counseling office in Bradley Illinois or on-line at the Virtual Therapist Network.