The process of divorce is one of the most difficult things someone can experience during the course of one's lifetime. Divorce is a very confusing time in the life of a family as well as those that love them. For many of us when we hear that a couple is divorcing several thoughts flood our mind (i.e. they were so perfect together, they always seemed so happy, I didn't know they were having problems, they always seem to work things out, etc.).
Going through a divorce can be a major life transition, affected by how partners engage with each other following the decision to divorce, individual perceptions about why the divorce is happening (who is thought to given up on the marriage, infidelity, It throws us into a major life transition that is colored by intense feelings and emotions that can be debilitating. I believe that fear is the main culprit that holds us back from not only healing and letting go of our pain, but also from moving forward into a new life, with new possibilities, and new people.
Although, fear can be destabilizing it can also serve as a positive motivator for change. Unresolved fear can act as a paralytic agent that can force us into stagnation or lead us to the uncomfortable feeling of being stuck. When we are feeling stuck, we remain in a fixed position, we cannot move backwards, nor will have the opportunity to progress forward. Fear has the ability to consume our thoughts, creating self-doubt, rendering us unable to fully confront or process our feeling appropriately.
Divorce is one of the most frightening, confusing, depressing, and anxiety invoking experiences one can ever experience in life. Divorce is associated with an increase in depression--people experience loss of partner, hopes and dreams, and lifestyle. The decision to end a relationship can be traumatic, chaotic, and filled with contradictory emotions. There are also specific feelings, attitudes, and dynamics associated with whether one is in the role of the initiator or the receiver of the decision to breakup.
Dating after a breakup or divorce can be a difficult decision to make, a decision that should not be entered into lightly. The decision to date after a divorce is a personal decision to make, one that should not be prompted or insisted upon by friends and family. Healthy dating requires openness, flexibility, and self-confidence to ensure better dating outcomes. Persons that are not comfortable with themselves and their direction in life will find it extremely difficult, or almost impossible to find happiness with someone.
Helpful Dating Tips for Date During the Divorce Process:
Like most negative things in life, negative experiences can be turned it into a positive. Following a divorce former spouses can use their divorce as an opportunity for personal growth and maturity. Former partners can take inventory of their life, mistakes and all, and devote time and energy to discovering who they are, what they want for their future, and who they want to spend the remainder of their lives with. Processing a divorce takes time, patience and dedication, but in the end, former partners will be able to put their divorce behind them. They go on to be centered, stable, self-assured, capable people who find the happiness they felt they had lost.