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57 Y.O. / Female

Michelle Admine

Ph.D, M.A., M.S., Author, Life Coach
Certified Life Coach
  • My Time Zone: MST (9:36 AM)

Help! My Spouse is Addicted to Pornography

Pornography is arguably one of the most rampant forms of addiction the society is confronted with today. Ranging from teenagers to young adults, and people in their senior years, the susceptibility to pornography knows no boundaries.

While some people might view pornography as a natural and healthy activity, a large part of the society views the practice as infidelity and an utmost disrespect to women. Unless traditional in-office and/or online therapy is sought quickly, addiction to pornography can potentially rip marriages apart and destroy the moral foundation of this generation and posterity.

Like most addictions, pornography starts with a single action, which quickly turns into a vicious cycle of uncontrollable behavior and gradually takes over your day-to-day life. In a marriage, pornography may be introduced as an instrument to spice-up a sex life, which if left unchecked, can spiral into becoming an addiction.

However, the moment a couple or one of them realizes the other is suffering from pornographic addiction; the best step to take is to find a therapist for pornography addiction to offer counseling and support services. The counseling may be undertaken by both partners or only the one who is affected.

Before seeking professional help, the spouse must acknowledge that pornographic addiction is affecting his/her life. This personal confession is necessary as the first step towards a total behavioral change.

How Pornographic Addiction Develops

Many of the people who suffer pornographic addiction experience feelings of shame and guilt about their problem. This particularly emanates from the double life they lead. As these feelings deepen and take root, they can lead to a lonely and isolating experience. Due to a reluctance to share their concerns, these people may sooner than later develop depression and anxiety symptoms.

According to research, pornographic addiction shares similarities with cocaine addiction in that both involve neurochemical activities that take place right in the brain. Whenever the viewing of pornographic images is combined with masturbation, pornographic addiction is increased because a chemical dependency develops on the neurochemicals produced by the brain.

Addiction to pornography, unless addressed early enough through online therapy, can create unrealistic expectations in a sexual relationship. This kills intimacy because the affected party can no longer find satisfaction. Resentment towards the other partner then develops and this can snowball into divorce and separation.

Pornography becomes an addiction when it starts to interfere with your life; including relationships and career. The addicts normally make attempts to stop, but often times the burden becomes overbearing. This is when you need to find a therapist for pornography addiction for help and support in breaking the habit.

Barriers to Seeking Professional Help

Pornographic addiction unlike other forms of addiction is strongly attached to the moral aspect of a person thereby making it an exclusively private affair. Seeking external help mostly involves exposing this private part of your life, which you have kept hidden because of feelings of guilt, shame, and/or fear.

The feelings of desperation and failure that come after making several attempts to stop may send the wrong signals that something is inherently wrong with you and there is nothing you can do about it. When self-blame becomes entrenched in your thought patterns, the self-drive you may have had to seek help quickly loses steam. This is a dangerous point in life because the compounding of these feelings may make it extremely difficult to open up and reach out.

Online therapy is a platform that gives such people the avenue to pour out their feelings and find a shoulder to lean on. As opposed to face-to-face counseling where physical contact often limits the extent of disclosure, online pornographic counseling helps you to rid porn from your life and cut down on the frequency at which you watch without the anxiety of being judged or feeling shameful.

Treatment Options

Addiction treatment when sought from trained counseling psychologists tends to be helpful and less embarrassing. One important thing to remember is therapists and counselors are not there to judge, but rather to share their immense experience in handling sexual problems and addictions in the most compassionate and sensitive manner. They will guide you into adopting a perspective that makes it easy to find your way out of a vicious pornographic cycle.

When you find a therapist for pornography addiction, you'll benefit from:

  • The identification of triggers and high risk circumstances
  • Re-negotiation of friendships and relationships
  • Management of cravings to watch pornography
  • Management and control of underlying and peripheral causes including anger, depression, stress, and anxiety
  • Identification of pleasurable activities other than pornography
  • Professional help to lead a balanced and a healthier life

Sometimes it can be overwhelming to fight all the problems we encounter either as individuals or couples. This is why enlisting the help and support of trained experts can go a long way in helping us get through the situation.

Through online therapy, the Virtual Therapist Network has made it convenient, safe, and private to disclose your pornographic addiction and other issues to our network of professional counselors.